I'm Back

I have a confession. I had a mini breakdown after Thanksgiving and didn't know what to do with myself. I freaked out and tried to stick to 1200 calories while busting my butt in the gym. I'm at such a cross roads. For once in my life I feel like everything is where it needs to be. I'm beginning to really love myself but I don't know why I just can't get my food issues under control. I'm starting to think it's never going to happen but I really can't afford to be pessimistic about it because it's my life and I want to make a change. Anyway, I got on the scale this morning and was dissappointed but I drank so much this weekend, it's actually really disgusting. So, hopefully it's more to do with bloating and I'll level back down throughout the week. On a positive note though, I met a boy. I'll refer to him as J. Friday night I went to a tacky Christmas party with my friend, Rikki who is  in nursing school. Anyway, I noticed him right off the bat because he's totally my type. I made sure he didn't show up with anyone and before I knew it, I had said hey and we talked for the next 2+ hours. He asked for my number and asked me to lunch on Sunday. I was really nervous only because I've kind of accepted the fact that I won't find anyone at the weight I am now (5'5" @ 190ish), so it's just really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that a boy could really be attracted to me. He was such a gentleman- opened up my door and pulled out my chair. Our conversation flowed so smoothly and he seriously fits everything on my boyfriend criteria list (haha, when you've had as  much bad luck as I have with boys, you have to start weeding them out with a list). He's twenty-five, graduated from Southern Miss in Kinesiology, so stinkin' cute, and he likes to fish and do "manly things" (my weakness). The cutest part of it all was the end of the date. He dropped me back off at my friend's house (I was staying in New Orleans for the weekend) and I was dreading that moment of do I kiss him or not? We didn't kiss but we hugged and I thanked him for lunch. About 45 minutes later he texted me and said that he had a great time and that he wanted to see me again. I'm so giddy right now and I really hope things go well with him! Anyway, I'm gonna post everyday this week, track my points and get some sort of activity in. :)

--Alex