ThurZZZday

All of the Zs are for the complete exhaustion I'm feeling right now. I woke up at 6:00 am so that I could take a shower and eat a decent breakfast before going into work for 7. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. I've been eating the same thing for the last couple of days and that is simply; 1 pack of regular instand Quaker oatmeal, mixed with 1 tbsp of reduced fat creamy peanut butter and 1 whole banana. Sometimes if I'm craving something sweet I'll throw in a packet or two of splenda...kinda makes me want to go to bed so that I can wake up and eat my delicious breakfast. My stomach was growling by 10:00 so I gave in and bought a fiber one bar. Although it was a better choice than probably anything else I could have purchased it was still 4 points that I did not count into my day, hence eating a little more than I should have. However, I'm not going to sweat it. I got home and went a little overboard for lunch. I've grown tired of eating turkey sandwiches so I bought some Nature's Own Whole Wheat sandwich rounds (2 points) and a box of Boco burgers (2 points). I then cooked a sweet potato and ate it with Nonfat Sour cream and a half cup of black beans. It was beyond delicious. I decided to take a 45 minute nap and then proceeded to TJ Maxx to find a cute top for NYE and I most definitely found it and the best part? It was $12.99! Pictures will be posted soon. I finally made it to the gym and got in a good 45 min workout. I probably ate a higher point dinner than I should have but it was delicious and well worth it. Tomorrow I have work from 7-12 again and then hopefully I will be able to go to the gym directly after. I then have to rush to New Orleans and be ready for the wedding with J by 7! I love being busy (it means I won't be sitting around eating). NYE plans are still being made but whatever we end up doing I know it will be a really fun night and a great way to start off the new year! 2012 is my year!

I lied

I officially started today rather than on Monday. I was still in Christmas mode. Plus, Monday night was the Saints game and I couldn't help but drink more beer than I should have. I really, really, really want to cut out drinking. It is so difficult because I go out a lot so I think I'm going to try and stick to one night a week. I plan on buying a bottle of red wine and a 6-pack of Budlight Select 55 for New Years Eve and I'll probably end up drinking it all. I'm kind of stressing out about NYE. After my utilities and rent go through, I will be left with $55.00 until next Friday. Part of me knows I shouldn't spend any of that on clothes but what the heck am I going to do? I will make myself by something from either Forever 21 or Target so it will be less than $30 and then I'll have about $20 left over for emergency expenses. I hate being in college and broke. Friday I have plans with J to go to a wedding. Thankfully my mom shares my pain and decided to buy me an outfit. I was completely miserable as I shopped but I finally settled on a black, tweed, pencil skirt that's really cute (size 14, grr), a gray camisole (med.) and a black, ruffled cardigan (med.) all from Ann Taylor. I plan on wearing grey wedges and I would like to be able to buy a necklace or something to go with it. I feel better about the wedding even though I feel so grose and fat due to the holidays and not paying much attention to what I ate/drank. J is so sweet though. He likes me for me and unfortunately that still does not help soothe my nerves. I'm going to do Insanity tonight and am a little intimidated but I'll be by myself so who cares if I look rediculous.

Merry Recommitment

I have been absolutely terrible. I recommitted myself today, but I didn't even bother getting on the scale. I know my day is going to be ruined when I see that number and I'm planning on spending some time with J and I don't want to feel self conscious in front of him. Anyway, Christmas was great and I really enjoyed spending time with my family and my presents I got. My goal for this week, between now and next Monday, is to write down EVERYTHING! I have to. Every little bite, lick, taste will be accounted for and I am going to do this this time around. No excuses.

Oh, Monday

I'm up early and was super hesitant to hop on the scale this morning because of the wonderful weekend I had. Friday night, J invited me to a work party at his parent's house. I know some people may find this odd, meeting the family a week after meeting the person, but I guess it's just a New Orleans thing. We LOVE family and it just comes with the package I guess of getting to know someone. Anyway, his parents were totes adorbs and I met two out of his three brothers and a cousin. Well, and a bunch of other people I didn't know but it wasn't all that relevant. I was a tad bit nervous, only because this was the third time we were actually hanging out and I had little butterflies swarming around in my stomach. But, all went well and he even kissed me and it was great. He dropped me off and stayed for a while so we talked and acted cute and all of those things that are making me giddy as I type this. Saturday, I basically just lounged around the house with my cousin and thankfully made it out for a 30 minute run around City Park which is 2 blocks from her house. It is so nice to be able to change up the scenery. I made plans later that night to hangout at a bar in the Warehouse District with some friends. J came to meet up and I ended up heading to another bar with him so that I could meet a few of his friends. I know things seem to be going a little quickly but I guess friends and families are just something we both like to share upfront. Anyway, I wasn't feeling the bar scene too much that night so we left around 1 am and made plans to watch the Saints game together on Sunday. This involved heading to the Northshore with him and two other friends to watch it at another friend's house. After the game we decided to go meet up with my very best friend and a few others at a bar where J's two friends were both interested in my best friend, Rikki. It was one of those things that one had all the personality and the other had the looks. Needless to say, if you combined the two it would've been her perfect guy. They both got her number (unknowingly of course) and I'm pretty sure they've both texted her. I'm rooting for the guy with the personality. I was extremely entertained listening to the two of them go back and forth. Oh, and the bar we at was LUCY'S. We were starving when we got there so I ate a few nachos (so not something I would ever consider ordering but I was with a bunch of boys and they were DELICIOUS) and half a burger with a few sweet potato fries...not to mention all of the alcohol I consumed that day. J dropped me off around 8:00 and I think I was asleep by 9. It was a long/fun/much needed weekend.

So, I got on the scale and I was down 2 pounds....what a relief and I will be busting my butt all week to keep myself in the 180's!!

Happy Thursday

So, I took a sneak peak on the scale this morning and I've leveled back down to my weight right before Thanksgiving! I'm gonna try so so so hard to keep it that way and only improve that number on the scale. I'm allmmmoooossssstttttt finished with this semester and I can't wait to just relax. I've been searching high and low for a job during winter break, but no luck yet. I filled out a handful of applications so hopefully I'll be hearing something back from someone. Other than that, nothing is really going on in my life that is blogworthy to share with ya'll, but I guess I'll give you the update on J...we've been texting throughout the day since we last saw each other on Sunday and I'm almost positive he wants to hangout this weekend so I'm really excited and I hate to say it, but boys are such good motivators to stay on track with the weightloss plan and everything. I woke up early instead of sleeping in like I promised myself and ran for 20 minutes and walked for 30 min. I'm just going to try to take things slow with running. I use to run cross country all throughout high school and last winter I was easily running 6-7 miles (but, I was also 20 pounds lighter). Anyway, that's all I have for now...

--Alex

I'm Back

I have a confession. I had a mini breakdown after Thanksgiving and didn't know what to do with myself. I freaked out and tried to stick to 1200 calories while busting my butt in the gym. I'm at such a cross roads. For once in my life I feel like everything is where it needs to be. I'm beginning to really love myself but I don't know why I just can't get my food issues under control. I'm starting to think it's never going to happen but I really can't afford to be pessimistic about it because it's my life and I want to make a change. Anyway, I got on the scale this morning and was dissappointed but I drank so much this weekend, it's actually really disgusting. So, hopefully it's more to do with bloating and I'll level back down throughout the week. On a positive note though, I met a boy. I'll refer to him as J. Friday night I went to a tacky Christmas party with my friend, Rikki who is  in nursing school. Anyway, I noticed him right off the bat because he's totally my type. I made sure he didn't show up with anyone and before I knew it, I had said hey and we talked for the next 2+ hours. He asked for my number and asked me to lunch on Sunday. I was really nervous only because I've kind of accepted the fact that I won't find anyone at the weight I am now (5'5" @ 190ish), so it's just really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that a boy could really be attracted to me. He was such a gentleman- opened up my door and pulled out my chair. Our conversation flowed so smoothly and he seriously fits everything on my boyfriend criteria list (haha, when you've had as  much bad luck as I have with boys, you have to start weeding them out with a list). He's twenty-five, graduated from Southern Miss in Kinesiology, so stinkin' cute, and he likes to fish and do "manly things" (my weakness). The cutest part of it all was the end of the date. He dropped me back off at my friend's house (I was staying in New Orleans for the weekend) and I was dreading that moment of do I kiss him or not? We didn't kiss but we hugged and I thanked him for lunch. About 45 minutes later he texted me and said that he had a great time and that he wanted to see me again. I'm so giddy right now and I really hope things go well with him! Anyway, I'm gonna post everyday this week, track my points and get some sort of activity in. :)

--Alex